Monthly Archives: November 2018

Who Am I? Who Are You?

Who am I? I needed to write a bio for the publisher, and for some reason, I couldn’t figure out where to start. I’ve done all kinds of exciting things including traveling across the country more times than I can count and having work opportunities that allowed me to explore South America and Europe. I’ve founded two small businesses and have met fascinating people from all walks of life who have touched me in some profound ways. But as exciting as all of that may be, these are only my experiences—the experiences are not me.

As I stared at the blank page in front of me, I thought, Who am I at this moment?  It seemed a more manageable question, and with that, I began to write. I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother, and a sister. I am a singer, a songwriter, an entrepreneur, a friend, a lover of people, animals, and nature. Plus, I love learning. I also have been a passionate writer since I was a kid, and it is that love that led me to author Let My Legacy Be Love, A Story of Discovery and Transformation: Tracing Adult Issues to Childhood Hurts. It is not the book I intended to write, but it is the book I wrote.

Some may call me a nerd since two of my favorite things to do are to think and to analyze. As an example, when I was a kid, I became fascinated by the idea of the formation of a pearl. My grandmother told me that the pearl is created by a grain of sand that has found its way into the shell of an oyster thereby causing irritation. I remember her explaining that to lessen the annoyance, […]

By |November 29th, 2018|Blog|

Are You Open To Discovery?

 

The wind ruffled my hair as I stood smiling at the passersby. The street was busy, and I was excited to be there signing my newly published book Let My Legacy Be Love, A Story of Discovery and Transformation: Tracing Adult Issues to Childhood Hurts. As I chatted with an old friend who happened by, a woman hurried toward my table from the side street with a serious expression.

“I need your book,” she said, her intent eyes now scanning the back cover. She glanced up and smiled, explaining, “I looked it up on line and I think it will help my family.”

Our conversation continued as she shared her story and her belief that a large part of our population is walking around completely unaware that the fears they struggle with are in large part because of wounds they sustained as children. “People don’t understand that they need to face those hurts. Once they do that, I believe they can change their lives,” she said.

So, how do you know where to begin to face the things in your life that upset you or cause you pain? Are you challenged by close, personal relationships? Maybe you don’t feel you deserve any better than what you’ve got? Maybe you even feel like you are everyone’s doormat, but you can’t seem to figure out how to break out of your pattern? As my friend Marcia said recently, “It doesn’t matter where you are on the spectrum. Every one of us has something to heal.”

How do you get started? Since I am not a professional psychologist or counselor, I can only speak from personal experience. For me, my life was turned upside down when my second husband left. Of course, I wanted to blame him, […]

By |November 19th, 2018|Blog|

Personal Power—Do You Have It?

“I feel stuck—like I’m everyone’s doormat. A good portion of the time, it seems as though no one hears or sees me. Even my own family doesn’t seem to know who I am or recognize my talents.”

Sound familiar? I know I’ve heard it over and over in my life from friends, and if I’m honest, I’ve echoed the sentiment myself more times than I care to admit. But then,  about six years ago while I was taking a course with a remarkable woman I had grown to respect and love, she and I had an eye-opening discussion about a personal relationship that was causing me some frustration. As she began to challenge my answers, I became exasperated, and blurted out, “Maybe I’m just too compassionate. Could it be that’s the problem?”

Her response was immediate and firm. “There is no such thing as too much compassion, Christina.  However, giving away your personal power in the name of compassion is a big problem.” The truth of her words hit me hard, because she was right, and I knew it. That revelation set me on a whole new course of thinking.

So, first of all, for those that don’t understand the concept of personal power, I’d like to share an article from Psychology Today that explains that our personal power is based on the strength, confidence, and competence that each of us gradually acquires in the course of our growth. It is also self-assertion, and a natural, healthy striving for love, satisfaction, and meaning in our life.

I have a question for you. Do you believe you recognize when you are handing over your personal power to a family member, a co-worker or anyone else in your life? I know for me, the concept was […]

By |November 13th, 2018|Blog|

You Can Change Your Life! But How?

Not long ago, I was sitting in seat 15A on a small jet on a runway in Portland, Oregon waiting for takeoff. Only moments before the door closed, a woman dressed in a business suit hurried down the aisle and sat down next to me. We exchanged pleasantries as she got herself settled, and while the plane was taxiing down the runway, she asked what I did for work.

“What’s your book about?” she asked after I confided about the project I was working on with my friend entitled Let My Legacy Be Love. However, as I described how sharing my personal stories of tracing adult issues to childhood hurts had profoundly changed my life, her expression pulled into a deep frown. “That all sounds very nice, Christina, but do you share your analysis of your stories?” I was more than a little excited when I answered, “As a matter of fact, sharing my analysis in the form of a ‘discovery’ after each story is the point of the book!”

I’m analytical by nature, so I enjoy considering the events of my life. Yet I have been cautioned that I shouldn’t look back; that I should leave the past in the past because the future is a brave new world filled with opportunity. I agree with that, but I also believe that we can learn from our mistakes.

Many people believe that the past is scary; that it’s a shadowy place filled with disappointments, hurts and heartbreak as well as events and experiences that cannot be undone. Yet at the same time, those same people may unknowingly carry those shadows along in a myriad of forms. For instance, recently a friend shared the story of a difficult relationship with her sister. As we chatted, […]

By |November 6th, 2018|Blog|