Monthly Archives: December 2018

What Do Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Have to Do With You?


ACEs may have everything to do with you and the life you are leading right now. You see, when you were a child, your brain was like a sponge taking in the world around you. Its function was to help you learn the language, the cultural and social norms, as well as your place in the family and society. Your parents, teachers, priests, ministers, police officers, dentists, doctors, nurses and every adult you came in contact with left an impression. The exchanges may have been positive, or they may have been more difficult.  Those that were difficult or scary or heartbreaking may have left you with questions and in some cases maybe even residual fear. It’s possible that the resulting emotions are affecting the way you live right now—many years later. Let me explain.

The other day in an interview,  a journalist asked me how it was possible I had been unaware of how ACEs had continued to play a role in my adult life. I can honestly say that I had no idea. I was aware that I had some challenges, and I did counseling around my “not good enough” issue. But it wasn’t until I started writing Let My Legacy Be Love, A Story of Discovery and Transformation: TracingAdult Issues to Childhood Hurts, that I understood and was able to come to terms with the root of my challenges.

Exploring the personal stories that I’ve included in the book was an incredible journey. For instance, there is one story where I tell my uncle that my mother wouldn’t be bringing me to my first day of kindergarten because she didn’t like me. In my adult life, the […]

By |December 14th, 2018|Blog|


While I sipped my coffee this morning, I picked up a book I had been reading last night. Instead of starting where I left off, though, I felt compelled to open the book to a different place. As my eyes scanned the words in front of me, I felt a sudden surge of excitement, and my heart raced a bit. Written on the page in front of me was the British tale of the orange-throated, blue swallow—the same bird that graces the cover of Let My Legacy Be Love, A Story of Discovery and Transformation: Tracing Adult Issues to Childhood Hurts.

Many people have asked me why I decided on the swallow as a cover photo for this memoir/self-help hybrid. My answer has been that as a kid, I loved the swallows that sang on the wire outside my bedroom window, and to this day I still love how they swoop down and then soar up and away. It feels magical. But this morning I learned that the blue swallow with the orange throat and smoky wings is associated with transformation and the changing of seasons. How wonderful, especially since my inspiration for this book is to help others by sharing my stories of self-discovery and transformation. What an incredible parallel that bird turned out to be!

So, here’s how everything went down. In 2007, I suffered a life-changing heartbreak. As hard as that period was, I decided that I would not let it destroy me. Instead, I would open myself to the experience and let it be my teacher. I have to admit it wasn’t easy. To work through my rollercoaster-like emotions, I began journaling and writing stories about the events as they were happening. I noted even the smallest […]

By |December 7th, 2018|Blog|